I left my boyfriend Anthony in the living room, to enjoy the last period of the hockey game, while practicing some songs on his electric guitar. I happily crawled onto my bed, propped my head against my pillows and pulled out my copy of Wuthering Heights. I’d been reading it for the past week.

At this point in the novel, Catherine declared, “he’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

That line struck me like the piercing winds of the moors. I’ve been known to be a bit of a romantic, but I’m not certain I believe in soulmates, to be honest. I had certainly never though of soulmates in the way they were described by Miss Earnshaw. I never considered a soulmate to be someone whose soul is made from the same ingredients of your own. It’s quite a romantic thought.

“SCOOORE!!” Anthony hollered from the living room, clapping his hands. I could picture his face alight with pleasure, his cheeks flushed with delight. I made me smile to know Anthony was happy. I yelled back cheerfully, “Yayyyy!”

If I were to believe Catherine Earnshaw, then Anthony and I are definitely not soulmates. We won’t match at all. We rarely agree on anything. And I mean beyond our vastly different hobbies and interests. We have different views of the world. Different perceptions of life. Different expectations. Every decision we make is passionate battle of wills.

If Anthony’s soul is made from oil, then mine is made from vinegar. When poured together, we don’t perfectly mix into each other naturally. It takes effort to keep oil and vinegar together. But damn, are we delightful on bread.

My own parents aren’t soulmates either. Nor are they oil and vinegar. My parents are Mentos and Coke. Explosive. Should not ever be mixed together. And even they’ve managed to stay together for over 30 years now.

I’m not certain I believe in soul mates, but if I did, I may have already met mine. I once knew a person who seemed to understand me completely. Who I rarely had to explain or justify myself to. Someone who viewed life through the same lenses as I did. Someone with whom I never quarreled. But like the infamous Catherine, I too chose not to stay with that person either. Maybe I took for granted being with someone so much like myself. Or maybe I was just sick of myself.

As I reflected upon these ideas, my cat Red leapt onto the bed. He crawled on top of me and lay down on my chest. He pushed his furry black head in front of my novel and purred merrily as I began to pat his head. I wave of pure adoration for this little guy washed over me. We definitely understood each other. We connected.

Maybe it’s best that I don’t believe in soulmates. At least not soulmates that are identical to ourselves on the inside. Companions, romantic or otherwise, come in all shapes and species. While this notion of a soulmate is an idealistic concept, it just seems too simple for this complex world.


29 thoughts on “The Soulmates

  1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts; it is interesting to think about soul mates this way. I always believed in soul mates simply as my romantic partner, but there could always be more to it than that. Who knows!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I don’t know! I think we can connect and match with people we don’t fit with romantically. And I think we can be in relationships with people we don’t seem to fit with.

      Every relationship is different.

      Thanks for your thoughts 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I find myself married to my soul mate. Though I never judge others relashionships… it is hard for me to understand (some people actually love the confrontation!!) Why people who argue and fight constantly stay together, other than maybe familiarity and not wanting to be lonely. Why did you and “other” guy break up? If that’s not to personal a question.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so happy you’ve found your soulmate!

      In the case of my parents, I tend to agree with you. I don’t think they should have stayed together. I can’t really explain why they did. Hence the mentos and coke.

      In my case, I was trying to explain that opposites can attract and form lasting relationships but it takes work and effort. Not necessarily crazy fighting though.

      I broke up with my ex for reasons beyond compatibility. It was more bad timing in life. I think in another life, we could have been happy together too.

      Thanks for asking and thanks for dropping by 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow! I loved your post. It resonated with me on so many levels. I like to think maybe soulmates aren’t about being someone like ourselves, but maybe someone who can connect with us in the ways that count (values? soul? emotional connection?).


  4. Interesting… thought-provoking. I’ve been alone and distant and rejected for much of my life, and even now that I do have a few friends, I still feel like we don’t really connect on a soul level. But I’m doing the best I can, and I have a lot to be thankful for. Thanks for sharing.


  5. I feel like my late wife was/is my soul mate- though we had differences, we could tell what the other was thinking and were together nearly 30 years. I have also had someone tell me, recently, that I don’t deserve a soul mate. Who can say for sure?


    1. You don’t deserve a soulmate? That sounds like a harsh statement, fuelled with the intention to hurt. But I’m reading it out of context.

      It’s a tricky concept. But if you think your late wife was yours, then that’s beautiful.

      Thanks for dropping by 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It was intended to hurt. The context, though, is that it came from someone who feels the lifelong absence of a soulmate. Then again, this person wants near perfection in such a soulmate.


  6. I loved this post and will be sure to read a few more. Your line “My parents are Mentos and Coke.” Perfecto!

    Soulmates … yes an elusive concept for sure. I wrote a book on the subject … my own answer to the question (Do soulmates exist?) 🙂

    I’m feeling as I learn more about the concept and life continues forward … that there are so many of us … Red really had the answer … in the moment when we truly see one another, our souls come forward and we are just the physical body for them to get around with … play the guitar, watch the hockey game or read that book with oneself and Red ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the kind words! I’m glad you enjoyed it. I think you really understood what I was trying to say, and I would love to read your book. It’s such a fascinating topic.

      Thanks for dropping by 🙂


  7. I agree with the idea that soulmates can come in any form but I also wonder (and have just posted about) whether or not our determination to justify and understand everything has in fact taken away from the magic that might exist in the form of what we call “soulmates”. After all, there are people with whom you inexplicably get on with, as if you have known them before. If this sounds romantic, it may be, but it’s also somewhat logical in its attempt to explain the odd sensation of really hitting it off with someone.

    Great piece – definitely got me thinking.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Yeah, I’m not sure I believe in soulmates easier. I’ve been happily married to my hub for 25 years but the idea that there’s only one person for everyone, well, I think we can have deep connections with lots of people, on lots of different levels. Thanks for a thought provoking read.

    Liked by 1 person

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