Have you ever had one of those days where your life just feels off balance? Like, you just can’t seem to get the proper footing, no matter how hard you try?

That’s how I felt one afternoon, after leaving the required marketing course for my Publishing Program. I quickened my pace to avoid my classmates behind me. Some days I’d go to lunch with them, but on this day, I was just not in the mood. I felt so out of whack.

Instead of following the path to the cafeteria, I opted to take the walking trail toward the lake shore behind the school. I guessed my problem had to do with the fact that with each passing day, we were nearing the end of our program. I was starting to panic. I’d quit my job for this. I had zero plans going forward. I’d sent out a slew of resumes to everything possible, in attempt to hit the publishing ground running. I just wished I had somewhere to run to.

I misstepped and stumbled forward sending a few pebbles scattering. On the one foot, I’d applied to a bunch of marketing internships. Marketing in general seemed like a lot of fun, but I wasn’t sure I was cut out for it. I wasn’t creative like the other students in my class. I never had any of these big exciting ideas. And to be honest, marketing seemed kind of exhausting.

On the other, there was editing. Editing I was good at. As an English teacher for six years and a devoted reader, editing just came easily to me. But in class, I still felt like I didn’t know what I was doing. I was shocked to find out that I’d received the highest mark on our faux letter-to-the-author developmental editing assignment. I’d shocked my teacher right back by not applying to any of the editing internships. I hated editing.

But what do you do if you do if you don’t like doing the one thing you’re good at?

I kicked a rock off the path in frustration. That’s when I noticed how dusty my right boot was in comparison to my left. It didn’t seem possible for one boot to get so much dirtier than the other. Slowly, I put both my feet together and looked straight down.

My right boot was not only dustier, but it was pointier at the toe, and about a quarter of an inch shorter than the left.

Realization turned my cheeks an abashed shade of pink. It was the real-life version of the age-old nightmare. I’d left the house wearing boots from two different pairs.

Talk about being unbalanced.

2019

 

16 thoughts on “The Balance

  1. You trend setter you. You need to add to your footwear ensemble but adding odd socks. You can either just dip into your draw and pull two socks out (assuming they are not balled into pairs, then why would anyone be that organised), or go for broke and purchase odd pairs from a specialist retailer.

    https://unitedoddsocks.com/

    No royalties or exchange of money was made during the making of this reply.

    Sock it too em dude…….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I was going through my followed list and when I saw your name I thought to myself well damn it has been awhile since I have read anything by her. And what do I find but you in my inbox. I have missed you dear girl and am happy to see you return. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good to hear from you again!

    “But what do you do if you do if you don’t like doing the one thing you’re good at?” That line made me think of a few conversations I had with professors back when I was contemplating different careers. (I’ll write about that eventually, but I’ve only gotten to the end of May 1995 in my blog so far, and those conversations happened in 1997 and 1998, so it’ll be a while before I get there.)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s natural, to feel, anxious about what comes next in our lives, but the thing you need to know, to help, ease this anxiety, is that everything, will work out, the way, it’s, supposed to. It’s only human, to feel anxious, over the uncertanties in our lives.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well, I was amused. I’ve been so off-balanced that I broke a bone in my foot and been given the gift of enforced rest and time to be creative and come unstuck! Thank you for making me smile. Wait for the gifts, but be careful what you wish for. x

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That’s the second time today I’ve heard about someone leaving a house with two different boots on. You know what that means, right? 1. You’re not the only one. 2. It’s a sign. Of what, I’m not sure. Hang in there. Something good is going to happen!

    Liked by 1 person

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