The Return

Three days into the new year, I woke up to a text from an old friend of mine, Stewie Goode. He said he'd e-mailed an ex-classmate of his, who was now a head hunter, about me. He asked her what my chances of getting a job as a law clerk or legal secretary would be…

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The Slot Machine

"Here's the money for the Uber," Amy attempted to hand me 7 American dollars as we headed through the airport to get to our terminal. "No, I don't want it," I protested. I didn't want to bring back any American money, I had just spent my last 5 dollars on a bag of chips. With…

The Bachelorette Party

With an unsteady hand, I poured equal parts vodka and cranberry juice into an empty water bottle over the sink in my apartment. This was not typical behaviour for me, at least not since I'd been eighteen years old. But desperate times call for desperate measures. In this case, the desperation stemmed from the fact…

The Picture Message

"Is that a camera phone in your back pocket?" Asked my coworker Guido in the storage room at Alpson's family restaurant. He'd startled me a bit, as he was sitting in the dim room when I had entered to get a hairnet. I'd walked right by him without noticing. Automatically I pulled my blue Motorola…

The Semi-Formal

"We can never tell anyone this happened," I pleaded with Olivia in the study of my parents' house. Olivia nodded solemnly. I could tell by her distant gaze that she was still processing the events of the night. And then we both cried. A deep and sorrowful cry of despair, that only angsty teenagers who…

The Couple of the Year

It was the annual Tap Staff Christmas Party at the steakhouse where my boyfriend Felix and I both worked. This party was particularly special to us as a couple because it had been exactly one year prior, at that same party, that we had begun our courtship. Now we were together and basking in the…

The Crayons

When I was a child, long before I learned that I had not been blessed with any artistic talent, I used to watch the British television show Art Attack religiously. I would lye on my belly on the rug in my grandparent's living room watching Neil create such amazing things. It was my favourite show.…

The Gift Exchange

As a rookie teacher at my school, I decided to partake in the office Secret Santa exchange. Since we have a large staff and include all teachers, admin and counselors in the draw, we fill out a short survey to give our gift-giver some hints on what we might like. That year, I drew the…

The Fall

Gilmore Girls was paused on my parents' television screen as I excitedly recounted my Saturday night to Cynthia. She'd already read the text-by-text synopsis, but now she was hearing the fully detailed narrative, complete with retrospective analysis and demonstrations of the risque hand placement. I was absolutely beaming. We called it my Troy High Horse…

The Inheritance

We were staying in a chic little townhouse cottage on the sands of Punta Del Diablo, Uruguay, in the off season. We'd traveled 9000km from our Canadian home to visit Montevideo and an additional 300km to get to this small region, at my grandfather's request. He was a Montevideo native. Back in the 60s, when…